Crossing Swords

Young Patrick dreams of earning his knighthood and dispensing justice to evildoers. He’s driven by his goodhearted, earnest nature, but also by guilt: his own siblings are some of the land’s most notorious crooks.

Patrick’s excitement to start his new squire job is quickly dampened when he is placed in charge of deciding who to execute as part of King Merriman’s publicity stunt.

Patrick impresses his hard-to-please father when he scores highly coveted tickets to a Kraken watching cruise, but the event is hijacked by a radical protest group and his parents are taken hostage. Now Patrick must stop the hijackers at any cost!

Assassinations rock the kingdom just as the petulant Princess Blossom returns home from school to attend a giant music festival. As her one-man security detail, things get even more difficult for Patrick when the assassin strikes the festival!

Patrick is thrilled to escort King Merriman to a charity golf retreat, only to arrive and find out it’s actually the Chill Society, an annual bacchanal where rival kings meet to divvy up power and party their faces off.

As the only uncut squire, Patrick is horrified to learn that he will need to undergo a circumcision to keep his job.

Fed up with a string of bad investments that have led the kingdom to bankruptcy, King Merriman throws out a pot of “magic beans,” which quickly grow into a giant beanstalk.

When a crisis sweeps through the Kingdom, Patrick accompanies the royal family north to stay safe. While the family makes it to the lodge, Patrick finds himself trapped in an ice castle with a Yeti, who happens to be an agoraphobic hoarder.

The assassin has orchestrated the kidnapping of Princess Blossom, and a Minotaur holds her captive in its maze. Now the King and Queen must abdicate the throne, or their daughter will be eaten by a monster.

Patrick returns to the castle with the rescued Princess Blossom only to find it under siege.