The X-Files

High flying New York record exec Rudi Wilson flees to the suburbs to avoid a scandal and finds herself under-equipped to manage her two kids in the fiercely competitive world of suburbia. She stages the ultimate birthday party with hilarious consequences.

Devastated by Dick’s donation of her coveted designer shoes to charity, Rudi embarks on a quest with to recover not only her shoes, but also her New York swagger, leaving Dick and Apple at home to battle a fake witch with Greg’s unconventional help.

Rudi helps Sarah find some “me” time during school hours, unleashing a party animal who goes berserk and ends-up battling a world class Serbian snake fighter to rescue her son, all while Dick bonds with a prisoner out on work detail and winds up in jail.

When Rudi discovers that Apple is attached to the school vending machine, she moves “her” in as the new nanny, but she quickly becomes jealous and ousts Machine Mommy; all while Dick’s love-struck mail-order Humanzee friend wreaks havoc in the house.

Temporarily broke and hounded by Dick and Apple for the newest thing, Rudi resorts to extraordinary measures to earn a buck, while 2Bit meditates naked in her living room searching for inspiration for his next big hit, guided by his new spiritual guru.

Challenged with criticism of her inferior parenting, Rudi starts Apple on performance enhancing drugs that result in the best kid ever, until she goes off the rails. Dick and his chicken manage to win the school's science prize without any enhancement.

Rudi hires an undocumented worker to tame her unruly garden. She marries gardener Salvador to prevent his possible deportation and Greg ends up deported. Bullied by Travis, Dick becomes a power-crazy, sugar-addicted Lemonade King who hits rock bottom.

Threatened with exclusion from Apple’s sleepover circuit, Rudi hosts one of her own, but it quickly spins out of control when the nanny she hires kidnaps the kids. Meanwhile, Dick has a video game session that scares the crap out of him.

To avoid concerns that she’s on the prowl, Rudi invents a fake boyfriend. 2Bit provides Rudi with the newest in erotic technology, a Sexbot, that turns out to be more than she bargained for. Meanwhile, sparks fly between Dick and his new tutor Agnes Chu.

Taking over Apple’s school play, Rudi replaces the cast and crew – including Apple. But when Apple and the other kids lose it, Rudi realizes she may have gone too far. Joel develops a crush on Rudi with a disastrous outcome.

During her attempt to quit smoking, Rudi invites a group of NYC hipsters to her house to “immerse” themselves in suburbia – while she immerses herself in their second-hand smoke. Dick brings home a new-age class pet and struggles to keep him alive.

Struck by lightning, Apple becomes a miracle child complete with healing powers and followers, which Rudi embraces for all its perks. When Apple’s faithful become overwhelming, Rudi must searches for a way to disperse them.

When her ex, Jeffrey, arrives with divorce papers in hand, Rudi smells a rat. She discovers that he’s trying to marry an elderly heiress – who not only wants Rudi’s husband, but her kids as well. The battle is on.